I am not a POTATO
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I have been a cynical asshole from birth and don't plan on stopping now.

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

smoochlock:

so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and

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i’m fucking crying 

it says ‘no.’

it literally says NO.

oh my god

surveycorpsforjustice:

intlsugarbaby:

sugar-babe-kira:

european-sugar:

prostheticknowledge:

Creepface

Online image search tool and Chrome extension that claims to locate US sex offenders in it’s database with facial recognition analysis:

This Free online safety tool uses Facial Recognition to scan photos of Potential Dates, Coaches, Teachers and more… Check them all with CreepFace instantly!

Just Right Click and Select “Scan with CreepFace” to check any online photo against 475,000 Registered Sex Offenders in the U.S.

Facial Recognition powered by FacialNetwork.com

The Creepface online search engine can be found here

REBLOOOG

reblooogggggg!!!!!

Keep all the girls safe!
And stay safe girlies.

Reblog constantly!

This sounds extremely handy for anyone who is looking into online dating!
(regardless of gender of either party)

taxicar:

choking on a food you love is the ultimate betrayal 

em-muh:

Just put on dark lipstick and act like nothing happened

unmatespritship:

going to underline something in pen and accidentally crossing it out

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phyxiated:

rainbowcranes:

Growing up, my dad had a rule. “You can’t get a tattoo. If you do, I will make you get it removed. Unless, that is, you join the army and can shoot a seagull in the eye from a mile away, or you have a near-death experience.”
On July 12, 2011, I rode my bicycle to the camp I worked at. On my way home, I rode down a hill, and stopped at the bottom. I looked both ways, and there was no car coming. I started to turn left when I got hit by a car going ~55 miles per hour. I completely shattered the windshield, and when the driver stopped, I was ejected back onto the road. The doctors in the emergency room were absolutely perplexed when I arrived, because they all agreed that I should have died, and they were amazed to release me 4 and a half hours later with only 16 stitches, a concussion, and a chipped tooth. During my recovery, I was angry and confused. A couple if days after my accident, I received cards from my eight year old campers. One of them drew a giant paper crane, and said, “if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you’ll get better”. 
Not being able to read, ride a bicycle, or put stress on my body, I cut up an old sudoku puzzle, went on YouTube, and learned how to make a paper crane. By the end of the day, I had a laundry basket full of black and white paper cranes. I kept making paper cranes, even after I made a thousand, and I ran into a dilemma. What do you do with paper cranes once you’ve made them? A girl in my class had committed suicide the same day I had my accident, and I brought a purple crane to her wake. Her family could not have been happier the moment I presented them with this crane. Something clicked in my head right there. I started giving them to people and hiding them in random places for people to find. I started making art with them, and they became a major part of who I was. 
This tattoo is symbolic of my accident, and could not represent me any better.

Im crying oh my god

phyxiated:

rainbowcranes:

Growing up, my dad had a rule. “You can’t get a tattoo. If you do, I will make you get it removed. Unless, that is, you join the army and can shoot a seagull in the eye from a mile away, or you have a near-death experience.”

On July 12, 2011, I rode my bicycle to the camp I worked at. On my way home, I rode down a hill, and stopped at the bottom. I looked both ways, and there was no car coming. I started to turn left when I got hit by a car going ~55 miles per hour. I completely shattered the windshield, and when the driver stopped, I was ejected back onto the road. The doctors in the emergency room were absolutely perplexed when I arrived, because they all agreed that I should have died, and they were amazed to release me 4 and a half hours later with only 16 stitches, a concussion, and a chipped tooth. During my recovery, I was angry and confused. A couple if days after my accident, I received cards from my eight year old campers. One of them drew a giant paper crane, and said, “if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you’ll get better”. 

Not being able to read, ride a bicycle, or put stress on my body, I cut up an old sudoku puzzle, went on YouTube, and learned how to make a paper crane. By the end of the day, I had a laundry basket full of black and white paper cranes. 
I kept making paper cranes, even after I made a thousand, and I ran into a dilemma. What do you do with paper cranes once you’ve made them? A girl in my class had committed suicide the same day I had my accident, and I brought a purple crane to her wake. Her family could not have been happier the moment I presented them with this crane. Something clicked in my head right there. I started giving them to people and hiding them in random places for people to find. I started making art with them, and they became a major part of who I was. 

This tattoo is symbolic of my accident, and could not represent me any better.

Im crying oh my god

thug-4-life:

howstufftwerks:

crrocs:

being caught taking selfies is one of lifes most embarrassing moments. 

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omg her peace sign lowering in shame

mellow-sleep:

aluox:

blood-mages-anonymous:

x-the-fault-in-our-scars-x:

aluox:

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I don’t understand why but I really hate this shade of blue

God it’s actually making me uncomfortable

No I am uncomfortable. As a color deficient person I almost never see the color blue and that is the bluest blue that has ever blued.

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I believe our internal frustration with this stems from the fact that it is very similar to a certain type of computer message

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do you feel the anger and frustration?

babyferaligator:

you can order 4,500 live ladybugs on amazon for less than $20 what a time to be alive