I am not a POTATO
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I have been a cynical asshole from birth and don't plan on stopping now.

brainfried:

"look at all them nasty ass birds" part 2

cosmictuesdays:

frenchie-fries:

vergess:

boltonsrepairshop:

PSA - PLEASE READ AND SPREAD HE WORD!!!

IF YOU SEE THIS PLANT AT ALL, DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!

Giant hogweed (Heracleum mantegazzianum) is an invasive herb in the carrot family which was originally brought to North America from Asia and has since become established in the New England, Mid-Atlantic, and Northwest regions of the United States. Giant hogweed grows along streams and rivers and in fields, forests, yards and roadsides, and a giant hogweed plant can reach 14 feet or more in height with compound leaves up to 5 feet in width.

Giant Hogweed sap contains toxic chemicals known as Furanocoumarins. When these chemicals come into contact with the skin and are exposed to sunlight, they cause a condition called Phytophotodermatitis, a reddening of the skin often followed by severe blistering and burns. These injuries can last for several months, and even after they have subsided the affected areas of skin can remain sensitive to light for years. Furanocoumarins are also carcinogenic and teratogenic, meaning they can cause cancer and birth defects. The sap can also cause temporary (or even permanent) blindness if introduced into the eyes.

If someone comes into physical contact with Giant Hogweed, the following steps should be taken:
  • Wash the affected area thoroughly with soap and COLD water as soon as possible.
  • Keep the exposed area away from sunlight for 48 hours.
  • If Hogweed sap gets into the eyes, rinse them with water and wear sunglasses.
  • See a doctor if any sign of reaction sets in.
If a reaction occurs, the early application of topical steroids may lessen the severity of the reaction and ease the discomfort. The affected area of skin may remain sensitive to sunlight for a few years, so applying sun block and keeping the affected area shielded from the sun whenever possible are sensible precautions
PLEASE, DO NOT JUST READ AND SCROLL! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND POTENTIALLY LIFE-SAVING INFORMATION!!!

Extra note: if you live in Oregon, New Jersey, Michigan or New York and see one of these, call your state’s department of agriculture to report it, and trained professionals will come kill it before it can produce seeds and spread.

Frankly, if you see one in general, probably call your DOA and see if there’s a program in place.

Do not burn it, because the smoke will give you the same reaction.

If for some ungodly reason there isn’t a professional who can handle it for you (and please, please use a professional), the DOA of New York has [this guide] for how to deal with it yourself.

OH MY FUCK I HAVE THESE IN MY BACKYARD.

Fucking invasives. Signal boost.

vinebox:

how i feel about mondays

theinnocentjan:

thirstfollower:

princesskenny456:

agianthordeofzombiesjust:

turnipss:

dredsina:

doctorwhothefuckisthis:

gutsygumshoe:

hakuryuusquad:

some people think that school food isnt all that bad and that we’re just whiny teenagers
u fucking get a rock solid jug of rotten milk then tell me that we’re just whiny teenagers

My freshman year of high school i got applesauce for lunch and when I opened it, a cloud of mold poofed out I feel this post on an emotional level

I broke my pb&j sandwich on the table once, it smashed into 7 pieces.

our hot dogs in elementary school were green

Once I opened a ketchup packet that was so old it was dark brown

Also once we had fried chicken and my friend found 2 of its organs in her chicken breast… :, )

I once got grape juice that was grey and slime. I made the mistake of not looking before it slithered into my mouth.

my high school had to stop serving us milk and juice my freshman year because a bunch of kids got terrible food poisoning from it. we were all warned not to drink the juice and milk because it was filled with mold. every lunch period after that I always checked my food and I found molded cheese on a sandwitch, stale pizza, green tortillas and a bunch of other stuff. I know its not suppost to be 5 star food but 3 star would be nice.

my friend once found a staple in her chicken sandwich

fagoverboard666:

babyminaj:

i love this so much

i have this printed out on my wall

metalsette:

there’s a rip off of bee movie called plan bee and this is what the characters look like and I am no longer afraid to die

metalsette:

there’s a rip off of bee movie called plan bee and this is what the characters look like and I am no longer afraid to die

spaceyacey:

Fuck i’m crying now
So my mother was up to her usual shit; calling me useless and entitled. Saying that I’m no longer allowed in the bathroom with a shower and I need to clean the other one by noon tomorrow morning or else keep in mind it hasn’t worked in 3 years.
I was hiding in my bedroom while my parents argued over who’s fault I was when my sister came in. She walked up to me and opened up her fist revealing a rainbow popsicle ‘best friends’ necklace. She thrust it into my hand and whispered that she wanted me to have it. 
"because it’s a popsicle?" I asked
"no silly because it’s a rainbow. I know- I mean- I thought you’d like it." 
She then winked and told me that I no longer needed to worry about cleaning the bathroom because she had spent the past hour doing it for me. 
This seems so petty and small until you realize that for the past two years my parents have been doing their darnest to get rid of me. My sister will admit that I’ve always been the scapegoat but since I came out it seems their attacks are more pointed. 
My sister is 11. She has grown up in a homophobic home and listened to my parents bitch about “those damn gays” her entire life. A couple months ago I came out to her and told her the reason our parents have been threatening to kick me out or send me away. I explained that sometimes gay girls and gay boys are even beaten up by people, just because of who they love. 
I cannot express how much her support means to me; perhaps I am not the one who’s wrong. If an 11 year old who has been taught nothing but hate, perhaps there is hope for the future. 

spaceyacey:

Fuck i’m crying now

So my mother was up to her usual shit; calling me useless and entitled. Saying that I’m no longer allowed in the bathroom with a shower and I need to clean the other one by noon tomorrow morning or else keep in mind it hasn’t worked in 3 years.

I was hiding in my bedroom while my parents argued over who’s fault I was when my sister came in. She walked up to me and opened up her fist revealing a rainbow popsicle ‘best friends’ necklace. She thrust it into my hand and whispered that she wanted me to have it. 

"because it’s a popsicle?" I asked

"no silly because it’s a rainbow. I know- I mean- I thought you’d like it." 

She then winked and told me that I no longer needed to worry about cleaning the bathroom because she had spent the past hour doing it for me. 

This seems so petty and small until you realize that for the past two years my parents have been doing their darnest to get rid of me. My sister will admit that I’ve always been the scapegoat but since I came out it seems their attacks are more pointed. 

My sister is 11. She has grown up in a homophobic home and listened to my parents bitch about “those damn gays” her entire life. A couple months ago I came out to her and told her the reason our parents have been threatening to kick me out or send me away. I explained that sometimes gay girls and gay boys are even beaten up by people, just because of who they love. 

I cannot express how much her support means to me; perhaps I am not the one who’s wrong. If an 11 year old who has been taught nothing but hate, perhaps there is hope for the future.